Gardening

I grew up in a rather arid climate yet my Grandmother had the most lush, green, splendid gardens I have ever known. She worked very hard to make her yard beautiful and to keep it that way. She loved every single plant she ever grew. She had lilies of every sort, snap dragons, sweet peas, pansies, pots with all varieties of flowers in them.

Her favorite part of the garden was her rose garden. She grew every imaginable size, color and variety of rose available. She was always happiest tending to her roses. She had hedges of bouganvilla and other plants. She had areas that the plants and hedges made borders so she had several hidden areas in her garden. I spent so many wonderful hours sitting in the shade talking with her and learning from her, or just playing in a make believe world.

She had arbors and slat covered paths which were overgrown with tons of honey suckle vines. The aroma of the honey suckle was so wonderful, on warm summer evenings I could smell my Grandmother's honey suckle vines several blocks away where I lived. She had herbs planted all over, she explained some needed to be planted with other plants so both plants mutually benefited from the soil conditions each created, others needed to be planted only with their own kind or they would not grow well or they would kill off the other plants. She taught me so much about what herbs to cook with and what herbs to make teas with and what herbs to use for fevers etc. What plants attract spiders that make thick webs that are useful to stop bleeding from severe cuts. Sadly I am sure I only learned about half of what she tried to teach me and I don't believe anyone else from my family learned anything at all from her in those respects.

I grew up and left for the big city and big adventures. I stopped in to see my Grandmother whenever I got a chance to go home. I cannot say for sure when or if I even noticed the splendor of her gardens fading over the years and the infrequent trips back home. But I do remember a time when I went to visit her and most of the vegetation was gone from her yard. By this time I guess I had noticed a decline in the amount of flowers and plants she had but I didn't admit it. This visit however was quite a shock, everything had changed, everything was gone.

She brought some iced tea and wanted to visit outside sitting in the same old metal patio furniture I remember from my childhood. I remember it as one of the most heartbreaking visits I ever had with her. Where I was sitting I looked out over empty flower beds still framed by brick or rock that I had helped put in place when I was a child. Now they sat empty, even the soil was dried up and cracked as if the roses and flowers were never there. It was a harsh lesson on time, age and aging......and maybe a harsh lesson on guilt?

I have mourned the loss of many things, I have even mourned the loss of a garden. I have mourned the loss of a life time of wisdom. Every time I smell honey suckle or see a rose garden I realize that my Grandmother's garden is not gone, it will always remain in my memory and so will at least a part of her knowledge. It is something I will pass down as well. I am grateful for my Grandmother's garden and all the memories she planted in me.

The sweet peas in the photograph were planted by my wife and youngest son. They often garden together and tend to the garden of potted plants and flowers on our deck. I watch as they sit together and talk and cut flowers. My son used to struggle with the watering can my wife uses but these days he lifts it with ease. I understand that flowers are not the only things that grow in gardens. I watch through the windows with maybe just a little bit of envy but I dare not intrude on these moments even though I know I am welcome. I understand the type of garden my wife and son are planting together even though neither one of them may understand at this point. It really has nothing to do with flowers and everything to do with growing and nurturing a deep and lasting bond between them.

Otter